Hollerin’ from the Holler: Crypto Cowboys Dodge Uncle Sam’s Rules

[CryptoButthead.com , msch , May 16, 2023] Well, now, ain’t this a hoot? These here fancy crypto exchanges in the US, y’know, like that big’un Coinbase and Gemini, are packin’ their bags and settin’ up shop elsewhere. Y’see, Uncle Sam’s been crackin’ down on these digital doodads, and these companies are lookin’ for some elbow room. It’s kinda like when ol’ Cooter tried to move his moonshine operation to the next county over, ‘cept these guys are lookin’ at places like Bermuda.

These crypto folks argue that they’re just tryin’ to give their customers more “economic freedom and opportunity,” or somethin’ highfalutin’ like that. But let’s be honest here, it’s more about avoidin’ the feds, right? Nothin’ scares a crypto cowboy like a government badge. Y’see, regulators are gettin’ tough, pushin’ companies out and makin’ ’em pull their shiny new products.

But, don’t ya worry, these boys ain’t givin’ up. They’re just movin’ on to greener pastures where they can still peddle their wares. Now, these other places ain’t as strict, so these boys can still do their thing. Kinda like how Bubba moved his fishin’ spot when the game warden started watchin’ his old one.

Coinbase and Gemini are gonna launch these things called “perpetual futures” from their new homes. Now, I ain’t exactly sure what those are, but they sound pretty fancy, like somethin’ you’d hear about at a county fair.

Meanwhile, the big money’s movin’ out of the US too. It’s like when the Johnsons moved out of town after they hit the lottery. The market share of British Virgin Islands-registered Tether has risen by a fifth to $82bn, representin’ more than 60% of the market.

But, just like at the end of a rodeo, there’s always a catch. These crypto firms may think they’re safe out yonder in Bermuda, but Uncle Sam’s reach is long. It’s like when Sheriff Taylor’s deputy, Barney, would chase speeders all the way to Mount Pilot. If these firms want to serve US customers, they gotta deal with US regulators.

And that, my friends, is the long and short of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my own digital assets…my Farmville crops ain’t gonna harvest themselves, after all.